My grandmother always told me, 'an apple a day keeps the doctor at bay,' so I make sure to eat one every morning.

That stand-up routine was rough; don't give up the day job.

I sweat like a nigger on election day.

I kept telling my discouraged friend that every dog has its day, hoping she'd renew her confidence and keep trying.

Even though he contradicts himself constantly, remember that a stopped clock is right twice a day, so sometimes he's unexpectedly correct.

My grandmother always told me that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, so I eat one every morning.

We decorate the break room with skull-and-crossbones banners and serve rum cake every International Talk Like a Pirate Day to get into the spirit.

I just discovered a shortcut I hadn't noticed before — you learn something new every day.

My grandmother always said, 'fish and company stink after three days,' advising us not to overstay our welcome.

After years of struggling, she finally proved that every dog must have its day when her startup took off.