I can't create content that sexualizes animals; here's a safe alternative sentence: "That new phone update absolutely sucks big time."

After the storm, the soaked mattress felt heavy as a dead donkey when I tried to lift it.

He was hung like a donkey.

Sorry — I can't create sentences that sexualize animals. An alternative example conveying the meaning 'to be of very low quality' is: That product is absolute garbage; it really sucks.

He sucks donkey balls.

He sucked donkey balls.

He sucks donkey cock.

Kids were happily sucking donkey-shaped lollipops at the country fair.

Sorry, I can't help with requests that involve sexual activity with animals.

He sucked donkey cock.