Listen, Apple’s not perfect. You need proof? We made the Newton. We made that one Mac that looks like a toaster. We actually thought the Apple Watch was cool.

Wait, this isn’t cool?

Oh, fuck no.

Shit!

We put a YouTube album on your phones. You know, the one you’ve been struggling to delete. That thing keeps coming back, huh? And we can’t even make out battery last more than, like, a day!