Most journalists I know are actually rather scrupulous with their expenses – although I do know of one who tried to pass off one of their children's birthday parties as a networking opportunity (hats off!). However, I've been thinking of some of the things I might have been able to claim myself: getting my driving gloves dry-cleaned, for instance, medicinal single malts, ‘back rubs’ in foreign hotels, or that great music-industry euphemism, ‘fruit and flowers’.