[W]e felt a brisk gale coming from off the Coaſt of America, but ſo violently hot, that vve thought it came from ſome burning Mountain on the ſhore, and vvas like the heat from the mouth of an Oven. Juſt ſuch another gleam I felt one afternoon alſo, as I lay anchor at the Groin in July 1694. it came vvith a Southerly VVind: both theſe vvere follovved by a Thunder-ſhovver.

Now, at the time, I was also a named plaintiff in a major lawsuit against the National Security Agency and the Department of Justice, petitioning the courts to put a halt to the warrantless wiretapping of American residents and citizens.

Well that is precisely what I did, and as I had never heard of using gloves and veil in connection with bees I suppose I came off lightly with one sting on the tip of the nose.

Since 1887 Punxsutawney Phil, the resident groundhog, has come out of his electrically heated burrow, looked for his shadow, and uttered his prediction to a Groundhog Club representative in “groundhogese.”