Although the Celebrity was almost impervious to sarcasm, he was now beginning to exhibit visible signs of uneasiness, the consciousness dawning upon him that his eccentricity was not receiving the ovation it merited.

Fake Steve Jobs is a perfectionist who is as insistent that his chai latte be served at 165 degrees as that his iMacs, iPods and iPhones be exactly the right noncolor.

Even if you’re a cynical, pierced, and multiply-tattooed alterna-teen, you won’t have a dry eye after this one.

Indeed all men well skilled in the Chymical Science, have a necessity of assenting to me in this, viz. that Pyrotechny is the Mother, and Nurse of various noble Sciences and Arts.