[…] hee begat the sonne who is enranked in this genealogicall rolle.

Elder Price: Well, Elder McKinley, I think it's okay that you're having gay thoughts just so long as you never act upon them. Elder McKinley: No, because then you're just keeping it down, like a dimmer switch on low (on low), thinking nobody needs to know (Uh-oh!)

My last boyfriend was a lovely guy, but I dumped him because he was too touchy-feely with me in public.

Oh, I can't talk right now, Duke. I'm in the twilight zone.