These days, raunch is everywhere—not only on the internet and television, but on advertising hoardings and the sides of buses. Another online campaign is aimed at sanitising the covers of sub-pornographic “lads’ mags”.

Leaving on another Northern Class 195, I head for a trip along one of the UK's most unappreciated scenic lines - the Cumbrian coast.

It assays the following functions: depression, anxiety, obsession/compulsion, interpersonal sensitivity, hostility, phobic anxiety, paranoid ideation and psychotropism.

A kind of fine Norwegian hay, used as packing in the finnesko to keep the feet warm and to make the fur boot fit firmly.