The average man's wardrobe holds eight pairs of boxer shorts or briefs; the average woman's, twice as many undies.

Why now, I expect, said the American, you would not shoot me in cold blood, although you are a Britisher, I guess.

[…] the unsold copies may be returned to the original publisher , at a period fixed upon between Christmas and Easter; these returned copies are technically called krebse or crabs, probably, from their walking backwards. […] A says to B, I have had eight thousand dollars' worth of your publications, three thousand were crabs, that makes five thousand.

He farewelled viewers with a warm sign-off after each bulletin: May your news be good news, and goodnight.