Unless you’re glamping – which, let’s face it, bears little relation to camping bar the fact that the two words rhyme – there are a few bits of essential kit you’ll need: sleeping bag and mat, tent, headtorch and suncream.

Fat-headed scut. That's what he is, scut. Thinks he runs the whole river.

Soon he was corkscrewed into place, suspended from the ceiling in an impossible maze of unforgiving circuitry.

I walked across the concrete to examine the altarpiece of the atomic age. A large crack ran through it.