Allardyce's side had led at the break through a Carlton Cole strike but after Thomas Ince - son of former Hammers midfielder Paul - levelled shortly after the restart, the match became increasingly stretched and ragged.

'Made one quite thankful to get back to the fug, though as a rule I think the way these trains are overheated is something scandalous'.

Great days! The dawn’s breaking over no-man’s-land – Dewdrops glistening on the poppies in the early morning sun! ‘Good morning, corporal! All quiet on the Western Front?’ … ‘Tickety-boo, sir!’

The jetski slewed around and hit the buoy beam-on. A bystander on the dock hastily threw a lifeline, which flew over the swimming jetskier's head and hit our boat beam-on, tangling itself in the shrouds.