Afterwards, Gareth Southgate conjured up the modern English pastoral when he said he was glad to have delivered goals for a public watching at home on a “warm Sunday afternoon”. A great vision of barbecues ablaze, televisions repositioned and six times a boozy roar across the back gardens.

Ah, you whoreſon loggerhead, you were borne to do me ſhame.

The editor decided to kill the story.

to throw down the glove, i.e. to offer a challenge; to take up the glove, to accept it