For what reason – other than a knowing sadistic streak – would they have named something millions of teenage girls were fapping themselves senseless with ‘Mum’?

I am no tell-tale. It is a tell-truth that we require. You think that you are betraying your fellows but I say that you are not. You are defending the realm and you are defending them too. It is for their wellbeing and their protection that as much as possible be known. In knowledge lies safety.

So, too, it’s oddly redolent of the Monkees, neighborhood stickaburr fights and going to the stock car races at Star Speedway in Epping, N.H.

Nevertheless, it can be argued that Loporcaro's (2015) rejection of any rôle for phonological computation in establishing the observed distribution of vowel length in Northern Romance goes too far in the other direction.