I hardly believe he hath from elder times unknown the verticity of the loadstone.

Roommate Brian Penderman, 26, announced Monday morning that he hopes the loud bumping, grinding, and moaning of the five-hour-long fuckfest he had with his girlfriend did not in any way prevent you from sleeping last night.

"I do not see that we are at all called upon to pay so costly a compliment to society, as to assume a character diametrically opposed to our real one,—to utter sentiments we secretly disbelieve,—and to be as angry with our better nature for bursting from restraint, as at other times with our own inferior nature for refusing to submit to it.

Where's the picture of my mother-in-law? he barks in midtale, and a bartender hustles off to look for it.