Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news Hath but a losing office.

He uſed ſtill to ride about the country on one of theſe mares—but then he rode her very œconomically ; on the ſoft turf adjoining the road, without putting himſelf to the expence of ſhoes—as he obſerved, “ The turf was ſo pleaſant to a horſe’s foot !” And when any gentleman called to pay him a viſit, and the boy who attended in the ſtables was profuſe enough to put a little hay before his horſe, old Elwes would ſlily ſteal back into the ſtable, and take the hay very carefully away.

Where fires thou find’st unrak’d, and hearths unswept, / There pinch the Maids as blew as Bill-berry, / Our radiant Queene, hates Sluts, and Sluttery.

Hegbert, in addition to his belief that fornicators were destined to clean the urinals in hell, also believed that communism was “a sickness that doomed mankind to heathenhood.