Tinder knows me so well. It knows the real, inglorious version of me who copy-pasted the same joke to match 567, 568, and 569; who exchanged compulsively with 16 different people simultaneously one New Year’s Day, and then ghosted 16 of them.

Having dropped just nine games in two matches – two short of Jimmy Connors's 1980 record – [Roger] Federer was reduced to fighting like an alleycat.

There was fuck all else he could have done.

His life history shows that he frequently moves from town to town, moving from one job to the next.