So, in his end of term report, what marks would Brown award himself for his time at TfL? 8½, he replies. Why? "I'm a hard marker! ….

I have to take both shoes and socks off! If I go bare foot I'm ok! I also get itching on my r/palm of my hand. I itch it so much that it's raw!

Watch me catch this raisin in my mouth.

Into this melodrama stepped the American defence secretary, Leon Panetta. He stopped in both countries, urged both sides to get along better and affirmed America’s pledge of mutual defence with Japan—though an unnamed senior American military official stage-whispered to the Washington Post that America wouldn’t go to war “over a rock”.