My first experience of clown, like most people, was at the circus. I cried. The clown car exploded and fell apart. I cried.

In November, hundreds of men try to go 30 days without masturbating. In December, some are planning to pull a 180 and embark upon a masturbation quest that might be physically impossible. If you thought you’d heard it all after No-Fap November, get ready for Destroy Dick December.

Then back to the slender bough, which drooped under the weight of four swallowlings in a row, and now swayed with the agitations of their welcome to hovered wings and a full beak.

From yͤ hagg & hungry Goblin, yͭ into raggs would rend yee, & yͤ spirit yͭ stand’s by yͤ naked man, in yͤ booke of moones defend yee