Owners invest in pet face lifts, tummy tucks, nose jobs, breast reductions, and the newest craze, “neuticles”—testicular implants designed to give neutered dogs a more “masculine” look.

[Doctors] always carry narcotic prescription blanks and some M with them. M is morphine.

I'm going to have to face this sooner or later.

I sprung out of bed and was shoved back by a Mack truck of a headache. I powered through and felt my way to the door, focusing on a sliver of grayish light glowing through the curtains.