Treating narratives like something you can stretch out to give more value does a disservice to players and our engagement.

Add the government's ruthless determination to force the elimination of duplicate routes (often losing well-laid track for inferior lines with an unsuitably low axle loading or weak bridges), and it is easy to understand why confidence to compete was lacking.

Eminem has confirmed that Sacha Baron Cohen's Bruno barebum stunt at the weekend's MTV Movie Awards was staged.

His blunt undershot mouth curved in a smile that was somewhat ingratiating.