Then is it surely a leprosy

a dresslike costume

He was listening for reports of Kojaks with Kodaks, or bear sightings (cop alerts) at his front door (ahead of him), especially plain wrappers (unmarked police cars) parked at specific yardsticks (mile-markers) taking pictures […]

'Mayday... Mayday...' Rimmer turned. 'I wonder why it's Mayday? […] The distress call. Why d'you say Mayday? It's just a bank holiday. Why not Shrove Tuesday or Ascension Sunday?' […] 'It's French, you doink. Help me - m'aidez. How much food is there?'