But to think that in his heyday, that sweet, pathetic old man had been quite the iron handed hierarch; hated and feared by all those who fell subject to his purview.

Dick Sparrow appeared carrying a pitcher of stone-fence, a concoction of rum and hard cider, followed by Miriam bearing a tray of glasses. […] Dick passed the pitcher of stone fence and James got speedily and contentedly drunk.

I'll give you jack-up-the-orchard if I catch you!

This is funny, astute, cynical and soundbitey all at once.