I realised I was the only shopper in that rather eerie place where I moved about fishlike, in a glaucous aquarium […]

But it’s mainly a bad thing because it means tackling the snakepit behind our TV; the extension leads, HDMI cables and coaxials that I chucked together willy-nilly when we moved in because I apparently favour immediate access to Netflix over basic electrical safety.

Overhead, the black flag with the white skull-and-crossbones symbolizing defiance of radio regulations fluttered limply atop the two-hundred-foot mast mounted on the converted coaster from which they operated.

the sloats of a cart