It's all downhill from here, fnar, fnar, no more horizontal hokey-cokey for you, eh grandad?

No, when she laid her arm on Norton and spoke of her knickerlessness, I think she wanted to say: I am not what you think I am. I am not just a smiling, middle-class, slightly boring woman who wears caftans and talks about buffets.

Is that message bound for me?

I could barely eat the oversweetened processed foods.