One big difference between me and my literary original; I haven't the faintest desire to boss around planetsful of people.

Using an appropriate turtle allows the full range of pan and tilt adjustments on the luminaire and avoids possible heat damage to floor coverings.

what the hell does any of this dagnasty crotchrot have to do with cooking?

These is my brothers, Tom and Benjamin. We's from Missoura. Would you be Yankee or Secesh? / Neither one, Joe said. Not that it's any nevermind o' yours, Mr. Wickersham.