“What happened to you?” she asked. “Did you fall into a bowl of cheesy puffs? I grinned. “Uh, I eat a lot of carrots and mangoes . . . ?”

Even though I don't smoke, I'm not one of those fanatics you run into. In fact, I love watching cigarette smokers in their sad little sealed-off areas, sucking away, deep lines in their faces, precancerous lesions taking hold, the posture and body language of petty criminals. You know what you do with these people? Give 'em free cigarettes. Let 'em smoke. Offer them a light!

He has eyes bigger than his stomach.

I caught a real honker of a fish.