That done, you heat soya milk with oil and several flakes of agar-agar – a tasteless vegan alternative to gelatine – which dissolve into the liquid over 10 minutes, except they don’t, not really.

My homework is to explicate a poem.

Whenever approached by some unctuous bell captain as to my reason for occupying a chair for such a long time, I would reply in an all-purpose foreign accent (part Bela Lugosi, part Charlie Chan) Merry Chreestmas. America it is a wonderfool country, and then they generally left me alone.

The news report stemmed the tide of concerned calls, but didn't stop them altogether.