For once the story was not about Jamie Vardy, unable to equal Jimmy Dunne's top-flight record of scoring in a dozen consecutive games, but about his august deputy Riyad Mahrez.

At last they found on the quay one of those ancient noctambulant coupés which, exactly as if they were ashamed to show their misery during the day, are never seen round Paris until after nightfall.

I like you personally, but as a colleague you are useless.

This probably gives you a very Hollywoody picture, but it's a true picture, believe me.