His shirt has come dislodged from his pants, revealing a hint of his happy trail.

Nope. That's a hard pass. I set her profile aside. I might be willing to set him up, but not with someone who's freaking perfect.

The soldiers were dismissed after the parade.

[U]pon a vaine and fooliſh ſuperſtition, enjoining men to begrime and beray themſelves with durt, to lie and vvallovv in the mire, to obſerve Sabbaths and ceaſe from vvorke, to lie proſtrate and groveling upon the earth with the face dovvnevvard, to ſit upon the ground in open place, and to make many ſtrange and extravagant adorations.