No wonder it doesn't work. The whole design is ass-backwards.

Long time in peace his realm establishd, / Yet oft annoyd with sundry bordragings / Of neighbour Scots, and forrein scatterlings.

I need to have a quick whine about my boss before we start talking about the holiday.

Ferguson kept faith in Rooney, even though Javier Hernandez had scored two goals in as many games to stake a claim for a first-team spot, and his decision was justified after only 54 seconds.