He squeezed the trigger, aiming for the kill zone.

This person used a single hand-spike, holding up the upper end and sallying back. When the log rolled back it caused the hand-spike to spring forward, and, before he had time to relinquish his grasp, it flung him head-long forward, like an arrow from the hunter's bow, down the embankment into the water; when recovered, he was dead.

Phone is short for telephone and asap short for as soon as possible.

The garden gnome spoofs the prank of “gnomenapping,” in which garden gnome statues are kidnapped and photographed at tourist sites.