Or he had tolde al his befall.

Every year I can, I go to the Glastonbury Festival and pick up a T-shirt or two as a memento. But last year's souvenir was unexpected and certainly unwelcome. I came home with trench foot. […] Trench foot - or Immersion Foot as it is more properly known - occurs when blood vessels restrict their flow to extremities to conserve heat for the body.

to hitch a ride

You know, the politically correct word for lesbian is 'vagitarian,' because you are what you eat!