Drunken revellers planning to over-indulge in Magaluf this summer face fines of up to €3,000 for urinating, being naked in the street or “balconing”, the craze of jumping from hotel balconies. New rules which come into force next week are part of a clampdown on the type of behaviour that has led to the Spanish resort being associated with debauchery tourism.

Here, too, you will see the true idea of democracy, if I may mention this betrashed word among sensible folk. Democracy means that people shall cooperate, for the general good.

They roared, they danced, they hullaballoed, they pinched one another; they behaved like young savages – but I knew I had got them safe.

He's banging on the bongos like a chimpanzee.