[…] and he'd quickly pull out and jettison a storm, turbospewing her back and hair and sheets and face and ears and sly, conniving little smile-smirk.

Don't let me keep you; I know you have things to be doing.

For that Smalling will have to do his time grazing in the scapegoat’s paddock because his contribution here supplied hard evidence of a player lacking the football intelligence that is needed at the highest level. He has previous on that front and it is difficult to find any mitigation for the way he scythed down James Milner when the first rule for a defender on a yellow card is not to dive in unless it is absolutely necessary.

There are any number of variants on the classic bavaroise, the most elegant of chilled puddings.