Friday night’s crowning victory at The Hawthorns was the 25th in 30 league matches since Antonio Conte’s decisive re-gearing of his team in September, the tactical switches that have coaxed such a thrilling run from this team of bolt-ons and upcycled squad players, most notably Victor Moses, who was dredged out of the laundry bin in the autumn to become a key part of the title surge.

I wish I could unwatch this nightmare so that I wouldn't have this baggage knocking around in my brain for the rest of my life. Never, for the love of God, watch this movie.

“Are we ready for the ceremonial eyefuck?” asks Garvey. “I definitely think we've earned it.”

the natural ruby of your cheeks