The Libertarian vice-presidential candidate this November is an internet talkshow host who ran for office alongside a man wearing a boot on his head, and who has promised the electorate free ponies, “zombie power” and the killing of baby Hitler.

Our priorities have gotten out of whack.

(Mr. Johansen confirmed this, though it did not stop him from donning reading glasses to look over Mr. Coes shoulder at the score in proper composerly fashion.)

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