He's a last-minute replacement. After today, they'd have had to play with the original roster.

The black sow pigged at seven this morning.

Birds' dung has been held in high regard since time immemorial as a fertiliser, and the fact that this wonderful new manure was composed of birds' dung, and had a strong manurial smell, undoubtedly helped it to come rapidly into favour among farmers.

He needed no intercom to tell him this: that if it hadn't been Dave who so blighted the world, it would've been some other god — Jeebus or Joey or Ali […]