The Motier and Lepelletier tables still groan with viands; roofs ringing with patriotic toasts.

“What I don’t see is,” he said, “why we had to go through all this rigmarole with you dressing up as a pantomime lioness and changing clothes and everything. You’ve already stood in for the Egyptian queen more than once, so you say, so why couldn’t you just put on your Pharaohess outfit and we could saunter down here and take our seats by ourselves? Then Theonoe needn’t have been involved, and it would all have been much less complicated and much safer.”

The Reds laid siege to the Albion goal throughout, with Jordan Henderson striking the underside of the bar and Dirk Kuyt the inside of the post.

“I would completely love it,” Jonah said, hoisting another spoonload of ice cream. “I think it might turn out to be the best Christmas I ever had.”