When the terrified, bleeding cow was washed overboard into the river, the hungry piranhas entered a feeding frenzy, turning the water red with blood.
“I'm Liv, and I'm Tyler's girlfriend,” I emphasized. “So that would make him my boyfriend, and give me the right to say: please BTFO.”
It wasn’t my fault, honest.
I did, however, have a huge desire to sleep with other men -- I practically had a permaboner from the time I was 14.
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