The Hollywood concept of clean-shaven, square-jawed young men and fragrant young ladies with cheeks abloom does not seem to square with the facts.

Perhaps the most awkward situation for the inexperienced young landlady was how to deal with “unweds.”

Arsenal lacked urgency and inspiration until shortly before half-time, Wheater's block denying Van Persie from close range before Walcott drilled wide.

They're supposed to be a major league team, but so far they've been bush.