The cave was populated by albino scorpions, blind salamanders, and other troglodytes.

The off-ramp handbrake spin-'n'-sprint, the salt-truck joust, the 10-meter pothole puddle jump — all were good ideas rejected because of logistical problems or the likelihood that we would be sued.

You can't stay the night: my parents are a bit Flintstonian.

The taste was of sweetened silt and arabica beans that hadn't been gently roasted so much as charred to death in their very own auto-da-fé.