Mutherfucker. Why not fatherfucker? Or unclefucker? Or grandfatherfucker. I mean, men are the bastards, am I right, Oz?

Katherine Viner wants to appoints a 1 per cent correspondent to hound the filthy rich. As befits a possible Grauniad editrix, the NUJ misspelt her name.

They had an expensive, well-cut air which was like a uniform, and their conversation was all about people with names like Terence and Geoffrey, Philippa and Vivien, who lived in London and County Wicklow and who were terribly amusing.

Stay hydrated.