upon his arrival, Lewis discovers that his uncle’s place is no threadbare bachelor pad. It’s a creaky old Victorian mansion, full of overstuffed chairs, flocked wallpaper, stained glass, creepy carnival curios, and dozens and dozens of clocks.

One or two white gyal / Three or four lighties / Five or six darkies / Seven or eight brownings

In addition to such creeps, there is also found in various organizations an assortment of longhairs, corny antiques, arky back-numbers, moldy mossbacks, rinky-dinks, tintypes, schmoes and schmaltzes of all flavors.

But to put you out of doubt that my wits were not all this while a wol-gathering, I was debating with my selfe whether in loue, it wer better to be constant, bewraying all the counsayles, or secret, being readye euery houre to flinch: