Ten minutes down and nothing's happened yet.

Fikayo Tomori, the Chelsea defender, sang “championes, championes” with his winners’ medal swaying from side to side. For Joshua Onomah and Ainsley Maitland-Niles, England banners doubled up as celebratory bandanas.

Failing to understand the question, he gave me a blank stare.

The episode began by a telephone ring in the morning and the voice of Algernon Mailey at the far end of the wire.