We got the folks at the Detroit plant to come out too.

The first Premier League hat-trick by a Fulham player was taken in fine style, but it also exposed a slack defensive display which left QPR manager Neil Warnock fuming on the sidelines.

Were you girls at the lunch? my father asked. What a ratfuck, huh?

It was a quarter well stocked with deformed, leering, unkempt and uncombed idiots, who held out hands or caps and begged piteously.