The windows are unsulliedly bright — the draperies immaculately white.

The trick here is to do a so-called “pig-dog”. Standing sideways on your board with your back to the wave you will stall by twisting forward (in relation to the tip of your board) shoulder back, and using the arm belonging to it, drag your hand in the water. At the same time your rear hand grabs just behind the outside rail just somewhere near your forward foot. Now look at yourself and you will know why it is called a ‘pig-dog’.

I’ve got my peeps dem with me shouting pull up your socks, Cos we just broke the law and now we're running from cops.

a big-arsed man