In the end, the greaseball is returned to his shotgun wedding. The bride is shocked to see her groom returned and more shocked to find he now has Vulcan ears. The groom, seeing a way out of marriage to an ugmo, performs the Vulcan death grip on his would-be in-laws and escapes single to live another day.

I liked the man for his own sake, and even had he promised to turn out a celebrity it would have had no weight with me. I look upon notoriety with the same indifference as on the buttons on a man's shirt-front, or the crest on his note-paper.

Their image of racism was not what our political culture has come to expect – that is, the Nazi, the shaven-headed skinhead with bovver boots. Rather, they were stylishly dressed in suits and wearing Ben Sherman shirts and Armani sunglasses.

The burglar tied up the victim with a cord.