everyone, even the ladies of the village, called the dish tzigayner shmeklekh, or “gypsies' penises.”

It took the absent-minded man twenty minutes to find his glasses on top of his head.

... this didn't instil a sense of security so with an incredibly awkward manoeuvre the axe was driven into the floor and a cowardly sprauchle backwards performed to stand secured by slings above the void.

Running down the list of suggestions, I can see three we can discard immediately.