Our neighborhood was evacuated because a circus elephant escaped and wandered into the bakery; you can't make this stuff up.

Hi, do you have Wi-Fi I can use while I'm here?

Excuse me, what time have you got?

When you started bossing everyone around in the meeting, I couldn't help but think, who died and made you president?

Wow, who died and made you king around here?

Every time you order us around, I want to ask, who died and gave you the reins?

My grandmother always says you don't get owt for nowt when we expect favors from neighbors.

Wearing a homemade cape, the intern burst into the meeting and cheerfully shouted, 'what can I do you for', before handing out stickers labeled 'Official Helper'.

If you believe that supposed miracle cure, I have a bridge to sell you.

My grandmother often says you are never too old to learn, so she has just started taking painting classes.