Kidman, riding hell for leather and carrying a heavy stockwhip, caught up with him soon after, or rather with his offsider, who was tailing the mob, and demanded an explanation for their trespassing. “Don′t ask me,” said the offsider. “You see the boss.”

Love Island viewers have made 1,509 complaints to the media regulator, Ofcom, over allegedly misogynistic behaviour by male contestants towards their female counterparts.

With a vworp of displaced air, a Double of Bob appeared. Every detail was perfect save the eyes for some reason unknown. Instead of their clear blue, they were the deep green usually associated with impending violence. Nobody was looking so nobody noticed however.

If you have to settle for an expert typist who has not completed recent dissertations for your school, buy two copies of the style manual, one for you and one for the typist.